Figures

Got jokes? Maybe a video of Darwin Award candidates? Put 'em here. This is the place for all those funny films, silly stories and twisted tales that give you a grin. (*** disclaimer: Darwinism is not endorsed and, while laughable, should be debunked - see Creation v Evolution below)
hangman
Acolyte
Posts: 1087

Figures

Post#1 » Mon Apr 16, 2012 2:44 pm

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily in Starkville, MS. And bought a mule for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.

The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."

Curtis & Leroy replied, "Well, then just give us our money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."

The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"

Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"

Leroy said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked.

"What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"

They said, "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do.."

Leroy said, "Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898."

The farmer said, "My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"

Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."

Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.

They're overseeing the Bailout Program.


Limit all US politicians to two Terms.

One in office

One in prison

hangman
Acolyte
Posts: 1087

Post#2 » Mon Apr 16, 2012 2:45 pm

A Marine’s Wife Confesses

“I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government 
underwent a peaceful transition of power a year ago. 
 At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while 
Barack Obama took his Oath of office. 

However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines, 
In full dress uniform with rifles, 
fire a 21-gun salute to the President. 
It was then that I realized how far America’s military had deteriorated.
Every one of them missed the bastard.

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